Getting on with conversations: Dec 2008

Eli,

We should get on with that conversation.  There are such things as phones.  I am not at my most happy or confident right now in terms of myself, but I am quite confident in the universe and meaning being where we put it.  Where we hold it.  As you know, I’m working at this residential care facility for older women – six residents in their seventies and eighties.  Four of them have dementia or Alzheimer’s.  They are dear women, and I feel blessed to work with them.  That said, I had quite a day at work today which included cleaning up human fecal matter, sitting with one of our residents at the dining room table because she could not rise from her chair, having the same woman’s daughter ready to call 911 because we couldn’t get her mom out of the house and to her car to get her to a doctor’s appointment, and then watching as another resident wore someone’s bra on top of her clothes and sang and danced to Old McDonald Had a Farm.  What a day.

How is life so crazy?  Your life is crazy too, I’m sure.  How’s your family doing?  How are you?  Why are you unsure of humans’ capacity to create meaning?  Where do you find meaning in your own life?  Wry smile.  I was talking about you with another friend yesterday.  She’s a keeper as far as friends go.  How do we keep all these people that we know and love in our lives?  I haven’t figured that one out yet.  Anyway, you’re funny.  You have no idea how attached people get to you.  People who are peripheral friends to you consider you one of their dearest friends.  Wry smile.  I guess that’s why it’s nice to hear from you once in a while.  Because I’m only going to hold you as close as you hold me.   I’ve realized that about myself.  I don’t know if we ever talked about that.  I have a whole lot of love in me but more and more, I am only willing to give as much as people are willing to reciprocate.  With friends at least.  With other people, whatever, because they probably won’t appear in my life all that often.

Anyway, I got into philosophizing about me and you and people.  Laugh.  Kind of funny.  Anyway, I’m off.  I’m sending you lots of love and a big hug.  Talk to you soon, I hope.

T

 

 

Hi David,

How are you doing?  It’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and actually emailed you.  Wry smile.  It must be something about feeling close but not actually necessarily being in touch that much.   Is Portland totally snowed in (’cause Seattle is)?  We were thinking of going to my grandparents’ house up in Bellingham for Christmas, but I’m not sure we will if the weather continues to be as it is.  And the roads aren’t plowed here, so they’re just attrocious!  So so so dangerous.

Let’s see…. Life with me.  I’m getting a little stir crazy with my parents and my brother.  And it hasn’t even been that long.  But we don’t have an internet connection in the house, and the roads are too slippery for me to really want to get out running or walking and we’re NOT driving to the gym.  Yeah, so I’m just feeling the weather a bit.  Did I tell you that I’m not heading to Nepal until the end of March/beginning of April.  Any more news on your future?  Do keep me updated.

It was wonderful to have you and Lindsey visit.  I really like Lindsey a lot and just wish we could have hung out more.  I know that’s how you both feel too.  Ah well.  Such is life.

It’s sort of nice to have a break from work, I must say.  Time to sleep in in the mornings (with nowhere to be at 7:00 am) and stay up late at night.  And just do whatever I feel like doing.  It’s quite wonderful.  Even if I am going a little bit stir crazy.  I got my first application in to the University of Chicago Divinity School.  It’s my first choice of schools, I think, so it feels good to have my application in.  I’m pretty confident of getting in.  Not sure, though.  But I feel like I’m a pretty good candidate, and I had a really good visit.  Smile.

What else is new?  I dunno.  Life is as life is.  I don’t understand myself half the time.  Wry smile.  I do wish we could have had a long walk conversation or such.  Perhaps we’ll actually manage one on the phone sometime soonish.

Anyway, I’m thinking of you and sending ever so much love.

Thandiwe

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About Thandiwe

Hopeful cynic, creative, seriously silly, lover of people and places, hypocrite, third-culture kid, queer, life-long learner, white woman, Christ follower, outdoor enthusiast: I am a seeker of justice and truth who has re-found my spiritual home in progressive Christianity. I serve as the Associate Pastor at a small Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) congregation near the mountains of Colorado where I live with my beloved.
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